Cast

River

• Title: M.Sc.
• Specialization: Hydrosemiotics
• M.Sc. Thesis: "The P=Pee conjecture and glossolalia-incontinence duality"

Prof. Reza Malik

• Title: Full Professor
• Specialization: Hydrosemiotics
• Latest Publication: "Laminar flow in body language: a dry approach"
• Reprimands by the institute's board of ethics: Less than five!

Syl

• Title: Ph.D.
• Specialization: Subtle Ecology
• Ph.D. Thesis: "The impact of malaric diseases on cryptid populations in mangrove swamps"
• Current conspiracy theory: Air is fake

Corporate

• Title: "Brings the dough"
• Specialization: Capitalist Miraculation
• Business Function: Team's meta-physician
• Net Worth: Staggering

Augusto Arditissimo (A∴A∴)

• Title: Blood-Letting Beast of the Æon and High Priest of Our Aweful Lady of Warfare, DVX of the Psychic Realms
• Academic Title: Full Professor (no students in decades)
• Specialization: Wartime Cosmology
• Last Deed: Slain four-hundred men on the battlefield (medal has been lost)